There’s something I’ve never shared fully until now.

My two breastfeeding journeys? They were night and day.

With my first baby—sweet Oscar—I lived in survival mode.
Every latch felt like a test. Every pumping session ended in tears. There were cracks that bled, doubts that stole sleep, and an exhaustion that couldn’t be fixed with coffee.
I thought if I just tried harder, gave more, pushed through—I’d finally get it right.

But I didn’t feel “right.” I felt empty.
Utterly drained—mentally, emotionally, physically.

Then came Elliot.
Same body. Same late nights. Same leaking, cluster feeding, and Google rabbit holes.
But this time, something was different.

It wasn’t my supply that changed first.
It was my mindset.
And everything else followed.

What Shifted (And Why It Mattered So Much)

When I stopped letting fear run the show—when I made space for peace instead of pressure—my whole experience softened.
I began to feel more like me again.
And with that came milk. Connection. Confidence I didn’t know I could feel.

Here’s what changed.

I Stopped Letting Fear Drive My Decisions

With Oscar, every feeding felt like a countdown:
“Did he get enough? Is he gaining weight? Am I making enough?”

I didn’t realize how much fear was driving my every move.

With Elliot, I gently learned to lead with curiosity instead of panic.
I asked myself: What would this moment feel like if I weren’t afraid?

That one question allowed me to slow down, breathe, and respond instead of react.

It made more of a difference than any schedule ever did.

I Learned To Tune Into My Emotions, Not Hide From Them

I cried a lot during motherhood. Maybe you do too.

What I didn’t know is that the stress we carry?
The fear. The shame. The frustration.
It shows up in our bodies—and our milk supply.

I thought I just needed better supplements or a new pump flange.
But what I really needed... was space for myself.

Room to feel.
Room to pause.
Room to breathe.

Not fixing.
Not explaining.
Just honoring what was there.

I Started Treating My Body With The Same Care I Gave My Baby

With Oscar, I forgot to drink water.
Skipped meals.
Told myself I’d rest “later.”

But your body can’t pour from a cup that’s bone-dry.

So with Elliot, I made tiny changes:
Warm food.
Hands wrapped around a mug.
Short naps when I could catch them.
A quick shower even if it meant dishes waited.

Not perfect. Just better.
Supportive instead of sacrificial.

It changed how I showed up—and how my body responded.

What I Want You To Know

This isn’t a how-to.
It’s just one mama, sitting across from you at 2 a.m.—saying:

Your mindset matters.

Not because it’s trendy.
Not because it’s the “magic answer.”
Because you deserve peace, too.

And when you stop breastfeeding with clenched fists
and start approaching it with softness
everything changes.

Maybe not overnight.
Maybe not in ounces.
But definitely in how you feel.

And that feeling matters. More than you know.

Try This, Love

Find a quiet moment today.
Just you, your breath, maybe a cozy chair and a warm drink.

And ask yourself:

💭 Am I approaching breastfeeding from fear? From doubt? From pressure?
💫 What would it feel like to begin approaching it with peace instead... or tenderness?

You don’t need to change everything right now.
But noticing?
That’s the first drop.

Next Step (If You’re Ready For Science With A Soul)

If this resonated, your next gentle step is to watch the next video in this series:

The Science Of Milk Production: Why It’s More Than Just Physical

It’s not just about pumps and latches—it’s about hormones, emotions, and nervous system patterns that affect how our milk flows.

Click here when you’re ready. No rush. No pressure. Just support.

👉 Watch The Next Video

You’re Not Doing This Alone

You are not too far behind.
You are not “bad at breastfeeding.”
You are not broken.

You are tired… but you are trying.
And you are doing so beautifully well.

Let’s keep softening this, together.